#9 Scorpions

“It’s in my nature” said the stinging scorpion piggybacked on a swimming frog.

Love Potion #9
Unlike black-widows, scorpion males live la dolce vita “envenom-mating” females during courtship, injecting love potion. Their scary pincer-shaped claws deposit spermatophores; her epidural anesthesia a pleasant aphrodisia. (She’s unaware of the assault with a deadly weapon). Liquor and drugs, are we any better?

One of the oldest known terrestrial arthropods (class arachnida) these ambush predators are near carbon copies of their Paleozoic ancestors, testament to 430 million years of date rape.

ID and Habitat
Scorpions look like, well… scorpions. In daytime, they hide under rocks, inside crevices, and under sand. Active at night, their UV fluorescence is visible with your Jimmy Hendrix poster black-light.

Dangers Real and Imagined
Scorpions envenomate prey by stinging. Here’s Roald Dahl’s Stingaling, that most ugly and repulsive thing.

The moment that his tail goes swish
he has but one determined wish,
He wants to make a sudden jump
And sting you hard upon your rump.

Scorpions actually sting hands and feet unless you suffer “WRS” (wandering rump syndrome). Somnambulists should wear shoes to bed, and the congenitally curious should avoid poking around blind spaces. Of the approximately 2000 species, only a small handful is considered dangerous to people, mostly in North Africa and Australia. Stings from most species are similar to bee stings; they hurt, but you’ll live.

Hot Tip
Check your shoes and avoid walking barefoot outdoors at night.

RX
Calm the victim who should remain immobilized, wound below heart level. Sanitize and immediately ice the area to reduce swelling and slow venom absorption. Symptoms include pupil dilation, eye shaking or wobbling, hyper-salivation, difficulty swallowing and restlessness. Seek emergency medical treatment for severe symptoms.

Death Meter: 4 out of 10. Fatal bites are rare in the United States, but small children are especially at risk.