#7 Coyote

Looney Tunes for $1000, the answer is: “Ethelbert”
What is Wile E. Coyote’s middle name?

She and He
Known as jackals outside the New World and the Trickster in Native American folklore, Coyotes practice “facultative” monogamy (males contribute, but are not essential for pup survival) and mate for life. However, alpha males maintain multiple partners and in the Eastern United States (you can guess the states) they conduct inter-species affairs siring hybrid “coydogs.” Fifi and the Varmit Have Pups, Face Ballot Initiative to Restore Traditional Marriage.

Alpha males dominate larger packs and are often responsible for 90% of mating; beta males may sneak sex, but their hoi-polloi progeny is doomed. Females are “monoestrous” (annual cycle) with estrus lasting only 10+/- days; males limit spermatogenesis to this cycle followed by energy-saving testicular regression. Ouch!

ID and Habitat
The cayote[sic]is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him and even the flea would desert him for a velocipede.
- Mark Twain, Roughing It

Typically 20-30 pounds, coyotes are grayish-brown with fluffy, black-tipped tails. Think medium-sized dog. Found throughout the continental United States, they are supposed to be nocturnal, but daytime sightings are common. Their excellent hearing, sophisticated communication, hunting skills and galvanized steel stomachs (scarfing down everything from rotten vegetables to road kill) make coyotes supremely adaptable to humanity. Nocturnal dumpster diving for an all-American dietary cornucopia — pizza, chips, French fries, white bread, fried foods, doughnuts, and cooking grease — this clandestine canine dodges syndrome X, coronary heart disease, hormonal cancers, hypertension, vascular disease, diabetes, and other patriotic ailments.

Dangers Real and Imagined
Coyotes eat small mammals; unless you’re a rodent, fear not. But encroachment, habituation and “making nice” to wildlife contribute to increasingly common attacks. Small to medium sized dogs and cats, infants, toddlers and pre-schoolers are potential prey. Violent encounters with adults are extremely rare, but a brief scan of California newspapers reveals numerous attacks on pets and young children. Reality meter: domestic dog encounters and feral dog packs are underreported and far more dangerous.

Hot Tip
Don’t feed, water or befriend wildlife. Keep them afraid, very afraid; fear is good. Protect pets and children. Use the same precautions and aggressive responses as you would with cougars, “cougars” and your mother-in-law.

RX
Same as cougar, but survival rates are much higher and rabies is more likely.
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Death Meter: 4 out of 10. They rarely confront adults; pets and young children are at risk.